*** DISCLAIMER: This post is not merely directed for my Fiancé. This is meant to all the grooms-to-be who are hmm... let's say a little less engaged to the wedding planning.
Most, if not all, grooms-to-be are not really hands on in wedding preps. We all know that that doesn't mean that they love their Fiancé less. But it also won't hurt if you try to apply some of the to do list and to know which to avoid. Besides, let this serve as your training ground to your future mantra: Happy Wife, Happy Life!
Do's
1. Be involved
Your wedding will be more meaningful to you if you play a major role in creating it. Find an aspect of the wedding that matters to you and totally take it over. Why not take charge in choosing the wedding playlist?
2. Be pro-active
Your partner will be really annoyed with you if they are always the one who brings up “wedding stuff.” Make sure that you also occasionally start wedding-related conversations, even if they are vague statements like “I think American Author's Best Day Of My Life is a nice song!” Or, “Fuschia is really perfect for a highland wedding!”
3. Your Opinion Matters
Remember it’s your day as well, so throw in your 2 cents about colour palettes, invites or entertainment. After all, it’s you who will be wearing the suit or listening to the music you both decide on!
4. Surprise Your Partner
Even if she says no, get your partner a gift on the wedding day itself. A gift will show her how much you appreciate her as well as being a lovely surprise. Try to surprise her with a love note or a "something old/new stuff"
5. Work As A Team
Think of planning your wedding as a crash course in marriage. Planning a wedding takes time and teamwork, much like a marriage. There can be unexpected bumps and it can also be a very exciting time. If you can pull off a successful wedding together it’s a sign you are meant to be!
Dont's
1. Completely Shut Down
We get it. You think the words "wedding planning" are the two most disheartening words in the English language, or at least in the Top 5, right up there with Erectile Dysfunction and Valentine's Day. So you're tempted to let your fiancé do everything. Don't. For one, it's not fair, as you're throwing her under the bus. More importantly, you lose the ability to actually influence the things that matter. Use the 80/20 rule. By helping with the Big Three (guestlist, the location, and the date) you influence results without drowning in details.
2. Become Debbie Downer.
This is the #1 complaint we hear from women: that their fiances say they don't care, but then, after months of gloomy silence, they criticize at the last second without offering anything constructive. It's a fair complaint. To keep good Groom Karma, every once in a while you must offer some positive suggestions, take a stand, and, if you must, fake enthusiasm. (You think she hasn't?)
3. Turn Into A Groomzilla
Careful. Don't let the pendulum swing too far. Yes, you shouldn't be a zombie. Yes, you shouldn't be oblivious. But don't go crazy. Don't get so pumped for your wedding, so fired up, that you morph into the obsessive, penny-counting, micro-managing Groomzilla. This is the guy that cares way too much about every little detail, grilling florists and out-brideing the bride. Never be That Guy.
4. Half-Heartedly Committed To Help
If you have committed to work on a wedding detail, please don't do it half assed because that's worse than not doing it at all (especially when you said you were going to handle it).
5. Lose Perspective And Forget That Your Wedding Is A Party
Your wedding is a party. And parties should be fun. This is a fact that often gets overlooked by the very people planning the party. So, as the groom, it's your job to keep things in perspective and remember that a good party should have good music, good food, good people, and good booze.
6. Forget The Rules (Notice how this is emphasized)
One more thing about perspective. At your bachelor party, you might be goaded, tempted, and guilted into doing something dumb. Let's say, for example, that your fiancé forbids lap dances, but your buddies insist. Don't go there. A lap dance throws an ugly wrench into the final weeks of the engagement. Wherever she draws the line, respect it.
It's really nice to see such collaboration between the bride and groom.
Because as we all know, a wedding is about two people getting married,
not just about the bride. Happy Planning!
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