Pagpalo sa mga bata. Tama nga ba? By: Booratchilog

Ilang minuto pa lang ang nakalipas matapos kong mabasa ito. Nais ko lamang ibahagi sa inyo ang isang napakagandang istorya. Pusong bato lang ang hindi maiiyak o manlalambot matapos mabasa ito. Wala akong iniba o inedit. Dito niyo makikita ang orihinal na kopya.

Proud to say I'm a battered child. Here's my story goes.

My Grandpa was a retired military officer. Sobrang strict niya sa mga anak niya. Pero yun Papa ko once lang napalo. Lahat nga mga brothers and sister niya literal na mata lang walang latay. Pero sa lahat ng magkakapatid, yun Papa nag-adapt nun gruesome method ng " palo " . And to make the story much interesting, amplified version yun discipline niya.

Almusal, tanghalian, merienda, minindal, siesta, dinner, at midnight snack buntal naransan ko lahat. And to think na disciplined na kami, munting pagkakamali lintik na buntal ang kapalit.

2nd ako sa magkakapatid. I have my ate and yun brother kong sumunod sakin. Lahat kami binili ng mga wristwatch na synchronized yun time sa relo niya. Di ka pwedeng magdahilan about the battery if ma-late kasi weekly checked niya if ok pa yun battery nun relo. Eto sample rules and the punishment we received. 1.Bawal ma-late ng uwi. Not even a minute. Sabay sabay dapat kakain and nakatoka yun mag-sasay ng grace before we eat. Minsan na late ako ng uwi ( project sa school ), sa takot kong mabuntal. Sinama ko classmates and teacher ko. Nakatayo na sa may front door si Papa, and when my teacher explained yun reason. Lumabas ng gate Papa, no uttered words. Kinulyaran ako, sabay batok ng malakas, subsob ako sa front door namin, instant spaghetti sauce yun labi ko nun tumama dun sa handle. Di na naka-imik teacher ko. Isa lang sinabi ni Papa nun. Next time teacher wag niyo ng ihahatid to ha. Ako ng susundo sa kanya. Kala ko tapos na appetizer lang pala yun. ( happened when I was in grade 2 )

Punishment... Pag-upo ko para kumain, ayun habang kumakain ka, binabatukan ka. Tapos you will see your mother, walang magawa para tulungan ka. She can only shed tear. Tsk awang awa ako sa sarili ko nun. To make things worst. I have offended another rule while being punished dun sa pagiging late ko. 1.Pag-kakain, dapat kain lang. Kailangan " clean plate ". Since binabatukan ako dahil nga na-late ako. Ayun may nahulog na grain of rice out of my plate. When I was about to pick it up. ' Blammmm " sa lakas nun batok sakin, subsob nanaman yun face ko sa plate ko. And he literally, send the plate flying so lahat nun laman nun sumabog na sa sahig.

Punishment... I have to put my hands behind my back and eat every last bit of food sa sahig. Talo ko pa manok sa pagkain kasi patapos na sila kumain dapat matapos na din ako. That time pag-uminit na ulo ni Papa, di na siya kakain and di ka niya tatantanan. Di ka maktulog nun when you are sent to bed, and to console me sa nangyari, in the middle of the night, alam ni Mama na umiiyak ako. She will only go to our room just to kiss me in my forehead, and away she goes. Gusto ko siya tawagin and beg to stay with me until I fell asleep, kaso di pwede. Paga na yun labi ko and sobrang hapdi na. 1.Bawal maging hero. Since I consider yun araw araw na sinturon, lahat ng klase ng walis and hanger ay minor lang. I will narrate nalang yun worst whoppin'. Basta konting mistake very little lang talaga, gulpi ka na agad, kasi who would dare na gumawa ng kalokohan kung ang kapalit nun eh a week of recovery. back to rule#3. One time, thesis ng Ate ko, she was late for dinner. Like the rule stated above buntal din siya. Ayun pinunit yun report niya, the thesis itself. Almost a month work ni Ate napunit lang in an instant. Tapos habulang buntal ang naganap. Di ko na matiis, since sa lahat ng magkakapatid na-immune nako sa sakit ng katawan, sa buntal, sa gulpi, sa bugbog. Nun nakahawak ng antique chair si Papa para ibato sa Ate ko since ambilis niya tumakbo, 'alam kong tatamaan yun sis ko. Ayun, ako humarang. Sobrang sakit and ramdam na ramdam ko nun tumama sa shoulder blade ko yun upuan. Di ko magalaw right arm ko. Next thing I knew.

Punishment... Ayun sabi sakin " Ah, gusto mo ikaw ang masaktan ha? Bibigyan kita ng sakit ". Parang sinentensyahan nako ng deathrow nun. Dinibdiban ako, sikmura, and that time highschool nako. May batuta siya, gift from Grandpa. Yun lumang batuta, PC daw yun eh ( Philippine Constabulary ) yun ang hinataw sakin. Bawal tumakbo, bawal umiyak or umatungal. Di ko kayang maluha, hirap pigilin. Magaling pumalo si Papa. dahil di kita mga pasa ko pag suot ko school uniform. so yun pasa ko, korteng uniform. Pag nakahubad ako, parang naka-polo ako na kulay blue violet. 1.I forgot na yun reason kung bakit ako nabuntal. Since very minor lang talaga para maalala ko pa yun dahilan. Pero here's one of the worst punishment.

Punishment... Siguro napagod na yun kamay kabubuntal kasi nakita niya na hindi nako nasasaktan. One time sabi niya..." Lumayas kana, at pag lumabas ka na ng gate. Kalimutan mo ng anak kita at wag na wag ka ng babalik...Alis!!!" quote and un-quote. So ako natuwa na, palabas nako. confident ako na maraming kukupkop samin kasi nga yun mga kapit-bahay namin awang awa samin kapag naririnig yun buntalan moments. And since sobrang sipag namin, raised and born in military way. Lahat ng gawin namin magkakapatid, we have to make sure it has to be perfect or else...kaya respeto sa nakakatanda, ingat sa mga gamit and toys 9 we barely play our toys kasi onting gasgas, or may maputol an kamay or ulo ( lego ) tsk tsk, alam na. back to the story, I was about to exit our front door. Bigla akong sinigawan, " Pu%8#!na ka!!!, san ka pupunta ka? " ngali-ngali kong sabihin na " Ah, eh sa labas po...pinapalayas niyo po ako diba? " pero siyempre..ala komiks mode na enclosed lang sa ulap yun thoughts na yun kundi sasabog nanaman nguso ko. Sabi sakin.." Ipinanganak ka ng Mama mo ng walang damit, aalis ka sa pamamahay ko ng walang dala na kahit na ano." Gusto ko ng mamatay that time. ( grade 6 ) ako nun, tuli nako pero pano ako lalabas ng naka-hubo?

The event happened when there was a heavy rainfall. Liliw yun place namin and if anyone has ever been there, mataas yun lugar na yun and the little cozy town was previously called " little baguio ". So sobrang lamig that time, freezing cold plus the rainfall. No choice ako, so tanggal damit. Tinira ko brip ko, I was about to open the handle...biglang... " Nakakaintindi ka ba? Pag sinabi kong hubo..HUBO!!! " and believe me, it wasn't even a shout. It was roar, roar from hell. Yun tipong send chills to your bones. Ayun, hubo mode nako. Siyempre ayoko lumabas. That happened around 12:30 pm. Nun elem days eh, we had to go home to eat our lunch then balik ng school. So if lalabas ako, bukod sa lamig and ulan na malakas...makikita ako for sure ng mga kaklase ko.

" Labas!!! " and that was out. I was out cold and I ran and ran. Nakapikit ako, I was praying na pagdilat ko, panaginip lang lahat pero hindi. Good thing 20-25meters across sa house namin ay bakanteng lote with wild grass that stood approximately 3ft. Ayun nagtago ako behind da bushes. No trees to shed me from the rainfall. My hands and feet went numb sa sobrang lamig. I closed my eyes and prayed na maging ibon nalang ako ( kaya naiiyak ako dun sa Forrest Gump, yun scene with Jinny, childhood bestfriend niya na inaabuso nun dad, she prayed to have wings ) or maging hayop nalang ako, mabura na lahat ng memory ko. Grabe mga tumatakbo sa isip ko nun that time. As I kept my eyes closed, I heard a voice. Like an angel's. When I opened my eyes, ayun sumambulat sakin. Two of my girl classmates. To make the story worst, yun isa crush ko. Nun nakita ko sila, they are both crying, naaawa siguro. Lam na kasi sa school yun pambubugbog samin so alam nila na parusa yun sakin. Yun crush ko di nagsasalita, nakatingin lang siya sakin, sa katawan ko.. hehehe...that time todo yupyop ako para di makita yun tweety bird ko ( sobrang lamig kasi eh, what do you expect )

The other girl her name is Kristine, she told me na " Huy, sama kana samin. Uwi ka sa bahay. May damit don. may pagkain. Dun kana muna magpalipas ng ulan, kami na bahala kay Ma'am ( teacher ). " Gusto ko na ayaw ko. pano ko tatayo? grade 6...tsk tsk..sabi ko umuna nalang sila and baka makita pa sila ni Papa, madamay pa sila. So on they went. Worst day and night of my life. I fell asleep, siguro sa gutom, and lamig. Ayun, sight na di ko malilimutan till this very day, I saw my Mom held a flash light and heading towards my location. She brought a blanket, nun makita ako, napahawak nalang siya sa bibig niya. Trying to hide her sobs. Ayun lang sabi niya " Halika na Anak, tulog na Papa mo " T'was 9pm. Taas na ng lagnat ko. I recovered after a week, ayun back to buntalan moments nanaman for such tiny mistakes. mahal na mahal ako ng Papa ko...

Even nun college, ligaw moments na. Bugbog sarado kapag late muwi dahil sa GF. Up until now she still remember na ako yun di mapakali kapag nanliligaw ako sa kanya. I sue to tell her na.." Una nako ha, talo ko pa kasi si Cinderella , pag nalate ako eh yun mukha ko magiging kalabasa sa pasa " Pag na-late ready na katawan ko sa bugbugan blues. The next day, pag punta ko kila GF. She use tend to my wounds. Sabi ko ok lang yun...minsan kapag trouble sa school. Ayaw na makipag-away sakin kasi nga kapag nakikipagsuntukan ako, yun parang wala nakong paki-elam. Di nako nasasaktan eh, yun pananakit nila eh wala ng epekto or hindi ko na na-fee-feel yun pag-inflict nila ng physical damage. Tapos all-out ako makipag-basagan ng mukha. Buti nalang la naging mga peklat sa mukha ko...

My Dad was proud only at one thing, di siya nagagalit na malalaman niya na nakipagsuntukan ako, pag uwi ko he sees my face bruised, lips are cut. He'll only ask one thing. " Nasaktan ka? siguraduhin mong nasa tama ka. Labhan mo na yan damit mo, magagalit nanay mo pag nakitang may dugo yan " and this was grade3 or grade 4.

Madami pang story ang nangyari until nun college nako. We were asked to write an essay. Madaming topic to choose from pero isa yun pinili ko. " The most memorable person "

Typically, I should have wrote my mom. Pero instead I wanted to be different. I wrote my dad instead. The composition of the letter was very ironic. I wrote halos kapareho nun post ko dito lahat nun pambubugbog niya, pero nilagay ko sa latter part nun letter. Never akong nagalit or nag-rebelde sa Dad ko. But I always kept on asking one and always the same question...." Why?"

nilagay ko yun irony nun mga ginawa sakin like...

through tears I learn to smile through pain I learn to love through hate I learn compassion through the bruises I learn to hug and make people smile through the cuts I learn to care and to mend broken hearts

things like that yun sinulat ko sa last part. And my dad thus made me this way, I'll never forget him and he's the most memorable person. Who molded me, creating me of who I am.

Balewala sakin yun, gusto ko lang isulat yun past ko. Tapos di ko one day, our Prof came into our room with tears in her eye. She told us about the essay she asked us to do. Eh gags ako nun sa school. I teased pa na ang cheesy naman nun nagpaiyak kay Ma'am. She then blurted out my name and yun piece ko. She ask me to read it in front of the class. Natatawa pa ko and reasoned na Ma'am seryoso kayu? So ayun, no choice but to read it, Read it as fast as I could, I put no feelings when I read out the words. Nun matatapos na, saw my fellow students...teary eyed. Upo lang ako, and my Prof asks for my permission if she could get a copy. sabi ko no prob. Ayun ang dami nila nagpa-photocopy, mostly mga babae. Di pa natapos story nun, paguwi ko ng bahay, a month passed ata. when I was about to leave our house for another week for school ( sa manila nako nag-cocollege that time ) my dad held my shoulders and said... " May naiwan ka na yellow pad, assignment niyo ata " isip ako ng sip kung anu yun until he said na " Memorable person yun title ".. he looked into straight into my eye, as if he has seen my soul. Gusto kong pumikit that time and sabi ko patay, the worst thing could ever happened already did happened. He then said softly.. " h'wag ka umalis, mag-uusap tayu..."

My Dad told me to stay for the day, and ok lang daw na umabsent ako sa class. Di ko lam kung ano dapat maramdaman ko that time. Pinagpapawisan ka ng butil butil na malamig, kahit maaliwalas naman ang panahon. He then ask me to buy " Lambanog " and some pulutan. That time ang tumatakbo sa isip ko, na iinom siya mag-isa and pagna-reach na yun super saiyan level saka ako hahagupitin, dahil dun sa pesteng essay na yun na hindi ko lam how the hell he obtain that?? I prepared my body for the torture of my life. And there he was, we have a bahay kubo at our backyard, I got the drinks and then he called me up. It wasn't even a call, more of like a " pakiusap ". he told me. " Halika dito, maguusap tayu. " First time I've heard that tone of voice, it was very meek. Aaminn ko, that time mas napraning ako dahil iba yun mood niya. Di ko lam kung paglapit koba eh, bigla nalang ako hatawin nun bote or what. Very cautious ako that time. Di ako umiimik. Then he spoke. " Inom tayung dalawa. " First time he ever asked me to have a sitdown with him. One on one. Miinom nako that time, pero not with him. Not that kind of setting. He told his life story, how he was raised up when he was a child. Ako yun nag-tatagay that time. Gusto ko talaga dayain. Ayokong magulpi ng naka-inom ako, di ko lam magiging reaction ko. I was afraid na baka gumanti ako pag binira ako, pero mas natakot ako kasi for sure pag nakainom ako, di ako makakailag sa uppercut, jab, roundhouse and sa fatality. Parang mortal kombat lang. The conversation went smooth, hours have passed. My mom watches us from a distance, maybe preaparing for a bloodbath. I was surprised my Dad, forgot na yun essay thing...

But I was wrong. He reached down to his pocket. Pulled out th letter. Stared at me. And then asked me to read it. My mom rushed and sat right next to me. My angel my guradian. Thought came passing through my head, I am saved.

My Dad told my Mom, " Makinig tayu. " Inabot na niya yun well-folded na yellow pad. And then I read it. May part dun na sinadya kong hindi basahin. How can I read it? Andun yun " memorable person " sa harap ko. Kapag binasa ko yun, 100% yun ang magiging " memorable gulpi " ko. My father spoke, gulat na gulat ako. When I skipped a sentence. he told me.. " Basahin mo lahat, gusto kong marining lahat. Every word you wrote. Read it. "... I froze and pumasok na sa isip ko that time. He already read it, probably over and over. La nakong magagawa I have to fully read it. I heard my mom crying. I found myself tears falling down my eye. When I made the letter, I made that out of sadness. Emotions came rushing in. And when I read the final words. I looked up at my Dad. His eyes kept closed. I saw tears falling from the corners of his eyes.

Is this a dream? I came to question myself? Siguro I was drunk??

My Dad spoke, his voice was trembling. His eyes still closed. " The sweetest words I could hear from my son. I never dreamed that I will live the day to hear these words. " He opened his eyes and said... " Maraming salamat...anak. I want you to read that sa burol ko. Kapag namatay ako, I want everybody to know what kind of a father I was. " The most sad thing I ever heard from him. Masahol pa yun naramdaman ko nun nakipag-break up yun GF ko. My heart was shattered. I don't want to see that, I don't want to hear those words from him. Mga profanity, mga pagmumura niya sakin...that I can endure pero yun words na he told me. How he felt bout the letter. I wish I hadn't wrote it. My father's words broke my heart apart. My fear pala is I don't want to see my Dad in pain. Seconds passed, pero it felt like days. My childhood life flashed before my eyes, and then yun questoin ko was answered.

My Dad looked upon my Mom and said. " Mi, sabihin mo lahat sa kanya, I wanted him to know everything. Gusto ko sa lahat ng magkakapatid siya nalang yun makaalam. " My mother held and squeezed my hand..and then she told me everything.

" Mahal na mahal kayung lahat ng Papa mo. Gusto niya na matuto kayung maging matibay sa lahat ng bagay at hindi basta basta bibigay o susuko. Lahat ng mapait at masakit pinatikim niya sa inyo, dahil wala ng mas mananakit pa inyo kung hindi yun taong nagmamahal sa inyo at yun ang Papa niyo. Nagusap kami ng Papa mo, we had an agreement. He will be hated and I ( my mom ) will be loved. He will die na alam niya galit kayung magkakapatid sa kanya pero nabago yun dahil sa sulat mo. Nalaman niya na hindi ka galit sa kanya. Hindi niyo lang alam kung gano kayu kamahal ng Papa niyo. Tuwing gabi bago kayu matulog, matapos niya kayung paluin. Siya yun unang nag-aalala s inyo, uutusan niya ako na puntahan kayu sa kwarto niyo para i-check at gamutin mga sugat niyo. Tuwing may pinapalayas sa inyo, siya yun nag-uutos sakin na hanapin kayu. Ang Papa niyo ang nag-aalala sa lahat, siya ang hindi makatulog kapag wala pa kayu sa bahay. Siya ang nagpapahanda ng pagkain kapag alam na pauwi na kayu. Kaya wag niyong iisipin na sa lahat ng pamamalo niya hindi ko kayu tinulungan. Ang gusto ng Papa niyo ay matuto kayung lahat, he will die happy knowing na hindi siya kahit kailan nagkulang ng pangangaral sa inyo. How hard it is for him everytime hinahataw kayu. Ang totoo niyan siya ang umiiyak sa gabi. And he let me do the explanation sa inyo kung bakit kayu napalo. All he wanted is to have his children learn how to stand up on their own. Ayaw na ayaw niya na maging hangal kayu katulad nun mga kapatid niya. At alam niya, na minsan dadating sa buhay niyo, kapag wala na siya. Lahat kayung magkakapatid ma-rerealize that all along your father was right. "

All fluids naglabasan sa mata and sa ilong ko. Nasagot lahat ng tanong ko. My father asked me to keep those words within ousrselves and he asked me to tell it to my sister especially my brother when the time is right. He also made me promise to read the letter sa funeral niya.

To end the very akward moment. My father cracked a joke... " Akin na yang yellow pad, ako na magtatabi. Mababasa pa ng uhog mo eh. " We all laughed and ended the night with forgiveness.

Next day I'm like a new person, parang nakawala sa hawla. Di ko ma-explain, it is like being born again.

Ayun lang po yun story ko. Salamat sa mga matiyagang nagbasa. Me and my dad are best friends today. Every weekend umuuwi ako sa Laguna, and palagi kami umiinom dalawa. Lahat ng values and principles he imparted sakin and he always wish for me to take care of my younger brother na I will lead him to the right path. Lumayas na kasi siya and never returned home. Minsan we talked nun brother ko, I talk sense into him pero it's very hard for him to accept. He endured every puinishment with hatred kaya ayun, he never wanted to go home. I'm still praying na before my Dad's time I will be able to ask my brother to see him the last time.

Pa, salamat sa palo mo.

EDIT: TL;DR Nagpapasalamat ako at ginulpi ako nun bata pa ako

UPDATE: I wish I could reply to all your questions and rebutt to your opinions (logically) being thrown around but it'll really take time for me to do so and for that I apologize. I hope I can shed light at the very least and hope to answer some of the queries below. Believe me, I was really overwhelmed by your comments and I thank you all for it.

I wrote this piece 7years ago in an online forum as well. There is a comment below that asked about it and yeah jpatricks1, I'm the same guy. I hadn't edited it since and it's funny to read it myself again relieving the moment I wrote it ages ago and I really sucked at writing at that time. Why did I even share it here in the first place you might ask?

It was my father's birthday last monday and a flash of memories came upon me when I was a child and I thought of sharing this story to you guys. For the reason that most,if not all, forumers here in reddit are straight to the point and open minded people. I have no intention at all to set this an example for any other parents or soon to be parents out there to think that abusing their child/children is okay so long as there is a stupid one to accept it and think that it is the only way to endure the pain and suffering the world has to offer.

I'm an adult right now and a father to two as well. I have always burned in my mind that never my children will suffer the same way that I did. I scold them from time to time and explain them things that should and shouldn't be. I leave it for them to decide for themselves but I tell them exactly the consequences for their actions. I have spanked them one or two occassions but during those event I'm terrified at my own self, repeating the horrors of my past. My eldest is 8 and napalo ko siya I think not more than three times and I've used a pangkamot sa likod to pat his butt as controlled as I could, maybe a 0.00001 version of my Dad's. Afterwhich I have explained why I have to do that pamamalo.

I've shared a part of my life. Take note, just a part. The totality of my person being has already been questioned here because of that tiny part in my life that I have shared. My father and my mother raised us as best as they could and what they see fit. I can't blame them. They have their own reasons and if their conscience can handle the fact that they hurt they own offspring, it is really not for me to tell. I can only tell you the part of which I understand them why would they have to resort to that kind of parenting.

It may seem all too surreal that I have accepted the fact that it is okay with me being brutally abused, but it is not. The story of my beating have been told in a narrative way to inspire fellow beaten child that one have endured, to send a message that beating is not the answer. That all suffering has an ending that might turned out good. There are a lot of quetions in your mind that may arise about what might OP thinks or what has he become. Let me tell you this, you do not look at the blank wall and just see the dot. Focusing yourself and get lost in the dot which is a just part of the wall.

You look at the goddamn wall itself.