Short Engagaement vs. Long Engagement

When a couple gets engaged, the first thing that happens is the stress. Planning a wedding is incredibly, incredibly stressful, and many might be tempted to just shorten it all and get the wedding over with so they can move on to being married.

Apparently most couples manage to resist this urge. Huffington Post just ran a survey showing that the average length of an engagement is 13 to 18 months. Despite this desire to rush to the altar, most couples, including us, do wait. And I believe it's a good thing.

A short engagement (six months or less) really only makes sense if you have already been with your spouse for a long time and the marriage is just a formality. But in our case, we chose to have a longer engagement so that we can save up and pay for our own wedding. Otherwise, especially for couples who have been together a year or less, a long engagement (more than one year)is very important. Here are five reasons to be engaged for more than one year:

• You have your whole life to be married
When you are first getting married, you want forever to start RIGHT NOW. There is no reason to rush into it.

• Weddings are stressful
It takes time to plan a wedding. If you are eloping or having a small wedding, by all means, have a short engagement. But some venues or churches book up a YEAR in advance. So if you have your heart set on it, it's best to wait.

• Engagements end
Sorry to burst your happiness bubble, but engagement is way easier to call off than a marriage. Give it time. Let it settle. Plan together.

• It's a fun time
You are only engaged for one VERY brief period of your whole life. People are happy and excited for you. It's a special time in anyone's life, so why rush into the marriage. Relax and enjoy it!

• You need to know each other
For some people, six months into a relationship, they get engaged. Six months later they get married and then six months later they are pregnant. Eighteen months together is NOT enough time to know you're compatible as partners and parents. It just isn't. I have heard that it takes three full rounds of each season (three years) to get to really know one another. That's a good rule of thumb. Good thing we're more than 8 years toegether now, yey!

DISCLAIMER: This are all just from my point of view. I am not saying that those who had a shorter engagement do not end up being happily married.

Marriage is a life-changing decision. And you must be sure that you are whole heartedly marrying the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. 113th day of being engaged, and I'm enjoying every bit of it! :)

Spreading the news! Announcing our engagement..

Engagement DOs and DON’Ts start almost the second you say yes. Your first task? Sharing the exciting news with the world. And how easy would it be to do so in 140 characters or fewer or with a quick status update? No matter how tempting, it’s an engagement no-no to not pick up the phone and call your family members and friends. No one likes to be the last to know—and getting the news via mass e-mail, Twitter update or Facebook is especially rotten. So set aside a few hours and plow through your phone book (you can enlist your mom, sister, aunt or another family representative to help you out).


The following are the people who first knew about our engagement: (In order)

1. Ate Mygel

In my case, the first person to know was my older sister, Mygel. We talked about a lot of things. I also asked her blessing regarding this. This is because I know that if there is one person who I am confident will be very happy for me, it'll be her. Anyway, my older sister and I had previous talked about it and she said it's okay if we get married first. I guess she have always known that Waldo will be proposing anytime, soon.

2. Mom and Dad

They've known Waldo for a long time now so it wasn't hard for us to ask for their blessing. Although, Mama would have wanted Ate Mygel to marry first. But she is pretty much happy that I have chosen a great man. Papa, on the other hand, was...uhm, let's just say it's hard for the King to let go of his favorite princess. But my mom assured me that it is okay with him. Also, I gave my the permission to inform our relatives.

3. Siblings

I am the middle child in the family. I sent them a text message (to Kuya Marc, Zander and JM) at 4 in the morning the following day. And they're reactions were surprisingly weird in a sweet way. (Sorry, won't be sharing that!)

4. Girlfriends

Kat.E (my best friend since Nursery), Kat.B (my sis who keeps me sane), and Lara (my sis/partner-in-crime) also received any early morning text from me. They were, as expected, as excited as I am. And yes, they can't wait to see me in my white gown.

5. My cousin

Actually, my closest cousin is Aira, but I didn't have her number. And since Kia and I had a talk about this a week ago, I also told her immediately the day after the engagement. She knew that I never really expected Waldo to propose but to my/our surprise, he did.

6. My 2nd Mom

I consider my Ninang Alice like a 2nd mom. I involve her in the significant days in my life. She is so dear to me.

7. My close friends at work

Ate Seth, Von and Mommy Annie are my super closest friends at work. I sent them a photo of my hand with the engagement ring on my finger. They were literally shouting for joy.

8. Facebook friends

After I told the news to my significant people, (Waldo also did the same thing to his), we posted our proposal pictures. And yes, it was the most liked pictures among all the pictures I have ever uploaded. 200++ likes and 60 comments up to date.

So you see, it is important that you inform the VIPs in your life prior posting anything in social media. I know you are on Cloud 9 with the engagement, but it is MUST that you know who to inform first.

He gave me his heart...and I said YES! :)

Yes I am engaged.

My now fiance popped the question after 8 years of being together. And that is why I am sharing you our proposal story, not to brag, but to inspire you. But first, let me give you a brief introduction about my soon-to-hubby.

His name is Waldo. He is an overall incredible person. He takes care of me, he is hardworking, patient, sweet and loves me despite my flaws. He taught me so many things in life. He taught me how to handle challenges we encounter in life, how to be strong, and he seems to be my number 1 fan. He makes me feel like I am the prettiest human being! (Which I always claim that I am, hahaha!)


THE PROPOSAL

Honestly, the proposal came to me as a surprise. I didn't really expect it. It was a random Monday afternoon. February 9, 2015 around 2:25 pm to be exact. We went on a 12-hour roadtrip from Manila to Bicol last Feb 6. We went there because one of his close friends will be celebrating his birthday. Actually his friend is working in Saudi. I think the last time they saw each other was during their college graduation. So you can just imagine how much they miss each other. Waldo was also his best man during his wedding. They are really close.

It was my first time in Bicol, while it was Waldo's 2nd time to be there. Although he was unable to go around during his first time because it was his friend's wedding.

I am the type of person who makes sure everything is smooth sailing when travelling. I make sure I have everything planned. But prior this trip, he asked me if I can be spontaneous for once. So I did not plan anything. Nothing at all. We just grabbed our bags, went on a long roadtrip, got a map, and explored our way there. I was hesistant to go unplanned but since its the first time ever that he asked me to be spontaneous, so I did.

His friend and his wife were very happy to see us and toured as around. We got to see old churches, and they were all amazing! The weather was perfect to go around. We even went to CWC, (CamSur Watersports Complex), and tried wakeboarding. it was both our first time, the experience was superb! You should try it! Unfortunately, we are unable to see the beauty of Mount Mayon.

Waldo really love to see Caramoan Island so we went there on our last few days in Bicol together with his couple friends. It took us 2 hours to be there. But the long travel hours was really REALLY worth it! It was a virgin island. Not yet commercialized so you get to enjoy the beauty of nature. The Philippines is really blessed with all this natural resources. It makes me proud that I was able to see it. It is at par with the Boracay beach. The beach water is blue green. But what impressed me more is their white sand. I've seen other white sands, such as those is Boracay, Bolinao, and Zambales, but this one in Caramoan was different! It was very fine and smooth. It reminds me of Goldilocks' polvoron!

We went on island hopping. We rented a boat that comes with a tour guide. We were able to see a lot of islands. Every island was surprisingly different from the other. We even ate our packed lunch to one of the islands.

And on our last stop, the last island to visit, Sabitang-Laya Island, it was weird because Waldo and his friend chose to stay on the boat. So I, his friend's wife, and the tour guide went around the island. When we head back to the boat, I was surprised to see a note written on the sand, and when I turned around I saw Waldo on his knees holding a ring and asked me my answer. I was shocked and was speechless for a few seconds. I think was even unable to answer immediately. But eventually I said yes.

It was just like the movies. It was surreal! But I didn't cry maybe because I was still overwhelmed about the surprise and I honestly didn't know how to react. If only I was prepared, I could have combed my hair and put on some lipstick. There were no videos since it all happened so fast. But I have these photos to share. And I wouldnt have it any other way!

I love how he made an effort to surprise me. The place, the ring, with the love of my life...it was really memorable! It made me fall inlove with Caramoan even more! It's now my favorite. :)

I cannot deny how I am still on cloud 9 about all of this. After being officially engaged, I can't stop looking at my ring. Almost three months later I still giggle thinking about how surprised and happy I was and I am over-the-moon-happy!

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Sharing with you some of the "BTS" pictures:

Photo Credits to Kuya Ofman and Ate Grace Manalo. We love you!