How To Calm Wedding Jitters

The work involved with planning a wedding can stress out even the most stable of individuals. Even those brides-to-be who knew all the reasons why they were getting married a few months ago may be facing the prospect of walking down the aisle with anxiety.

Call it cold feet or wedding jitters, the feeling is common among newlyweds-to-be. Stress has a funny way of making mountains out of molehills -- little eecentricity in a partner can quickly grow into horrible character traits. The key is recognizing when fears are just the result of too much planning and not deep-rooted relationship issues. Usually a person quickly realizes they're more overwhelmed about the wedding details than the thought of making a commitment.

Put your thoughts onto paper

Make a list of what is causing the most anxiety. This is what they call "release technique." It is used to clear your fears and prevent overworrying. Sometimes having all of your racing thoughts organized and on paper can help you rationally address the issues and see that there is no serious cause of the jitters. It can also help you pinpoint a common stress trigger, such as a financial concern or a conflict with a family member. Compare these fears to a list of reasons why you love your partner and want to enter a commitment with this person. This simple task can bring order to jumbled feelings and offer clarity on any nervousness you may have.


Learn to relax

Make time for yourself and enjoy activities that are not directly related to wedding planning. For example, some women benefit from a massage or facial treatment. Others find that a relaxing drive or walk along the beach or through another quiet area can help promote calmness. Or try to do an old hobby, like continue cross-stitching. Just take time to relax and put your mind at peace: Find a quiet place and focus on deep breathing.


Talk to your partner

Open up to your partner about how you are feeling. You just may find that he is experiencing some of the same things as you and that jitters are completely normal. By expressing your fears and doubts, and working through them as a team, this can be the first step you take as a married couple to support each other in good times....and bad.


Recognize that changes understandably make people uncomfortable

One of the most life-altering changes a person can make is getting married, particularly if you've both been used to living on your own and making your own decisions. Instead of focusing on what you could be losing by getting married, reaffirm all of the things you will be gaining. It may help to talk to married couples who have been successful in keeping their relationships strong. Remember though, your relationship is unique to you as a couple. So don't be sidetracked over what could or may happen.


Keep in mind that love is most important

While you want the weather to cooperate and the day to be flawless, you cannot control the outcome of everything when getting married. There may be some minor (or major) bumps along the way. Being able to recover gracefully and enjoy yourself can help start your relationship off on the right foot. Remember, you'll have many other chances to create winning memories as you grow old together with your partner, so don't put so much emphasis on the wedding details or the most important moments may pass you by.

Most Common Wedding Jitter Thoughts

It’s rare for a bride to sleep well the night before her wedding. Don’t worry if these constant questions are swirling around your brain – they are completely normal and they won’t happen.

• I’m worried my dress won’t look as good as I remember it in the shop.

Your dress will look even better when you have your hair, makeup and flowers – plus that pre-wedding flush of excitement!

• I don’t want to be the center of attention any more.

Chances are you’ll love it, but even if you do feel a little nervous, remember the walk down the aisle only lasts two minutes, tops. It’s not too long in the spotlight!

• What if unexpected guests show up?

It’s very unlikely that unexpected guests will but even if they do, your amazing bridal team will manage to squeeze them in and you can carry on enjoying your day.

• What if no one shows up?

They will! Booze and dancing – what’s not to love! Oh and the chance to watch two people make the ultimate commitment of course.

• What if he doesn’t show up?

He will. Promise.

It's Not Just The Bride Who Gets Wedding Jitters

Wedding jitters - nerves - cold feet - These are usually ascribed to the Bride, but it's not only the Bride who suffers wedding day anxiety.

There are plenty of stresses to go around, but none so scary and potentially embarrassing as the speech by the Best Man and Maid of Honor.

I know a lot of people are afraid of speaking in public. Especially if it's something people don't do often. So in addition to all of the other stressful duties that the MOH and Best Man have to worry about, they also have to get up in front of a lot of people and make a speech and a toast. Sure, many of the people in the room are friends and relatives but there are also many people they don't know - family members and family friends they may never have met.

It could be a recipe for disaster.

The fear of making this important speech may cause the MOH or Best Man to seek "liquid courage" - overdoing it before and during dinner, leading to a potentially embarrassing speech for all concerned. Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time has led to more than one horrible thing to live down the next day. Consider that these events are usually recorded professionally not to mention all the videos taken by guests with their phones and the wrong things said in a wedding dinner speech could be something to live down for years to come.

But it doesn't have to happen! A couple of hypnosis sessions to ease the fear of speaking in public can really help make the wedding reception much more bearable and ensure happy memories the next day and all the days going forward.

Wedding Jitters!?

This is atleast the definition of Google.  

Women who have doubts about getting married should not ignore them - as those with misgivings about walking down the aisle are more likely to get divorced or can lead to an unhappy marriage. Their misgivings are often a warning sign of trouble if they go ahead with the marriage.

Pre-wedding uncertainty, especially among women, tells us that when women have doubts before their wedding, these should not be lightly dismissed.

You know yourself, your partner and your relationship better than anybody else does; If you’re feeling nervous about it, pay attention to that. It’s worth exploring what you’re nervous about.

Doubt proved to be a decisive factor .Do not assume your doubts will just go away or that love is enough to overpower your concerns. There’s no evidence that problems in a marriage just go away and get better. If anything, problems are more likely to escalate.

Take it this way, If you see something unusual on your skin, should you ignore it and go to the beach, or see a doctor? Be smart and don’t ignore it - and don’t ignore your doubts either. Have a conversation and see how it goes. Do you think the doubts will go away when you have a mortgage and two kids? Don’t count on that.

I am not advising women with doubts to necessarily end the relationship. Talk about it and try to work through it. You hope that the big issues have been addressed before the wedding.