A letter for My Tatay...

Dear Tatay,

Hi there. How have you been doing? I sure hope you're happy there. We miss you so much. As much as we want to be with you, we can't. Well, not yet. We wonder what keeps you busy nowadays? Do you still enjoy watching TV? Are you still able to watch your favorite noontime shows? Are you still updated with your showbiz crushes? (It's okay to admit that you're still crushing on them. Nanay won't mind.) Do you still get to eat more than 3 times a day?

Ever since you left, we can't help but reminisce all the times we had with you. Every memory, every picture, basically EVERYTHING that reminds me of you makes me miss you even more.

It's been more than 3 years since you passed away. When I think back, I wonder how I even went one year without you. Every time I think of you I feel like going to my room and crying forever and ever until I meet you again.

I think over the years that after someone has lost someone, it doesn’t get easier, you just get more used to it and deal with it.

Well, that’s what I’m doing and I know you will be proud of me. It’s really sad because when I was younger, I felt really ugly and you were one of the very few people that made me feel pretty. I am writing this down so in ten years I can read this and remember how much you meant to me. I never want to forget that, and I don’t think I could. And I realized that no matter how old you are the closeness you have with that one person never goes away.

I remember how you used to fetch me after school. And how you used to spoil me buying me a lot of candies before heading home. I rememeber how you used to tell me stories during the World War II. I remember that you even bought me a cute purple bicycle with a basket and a bell. I remember how you never forget to bring us snacks at home every single time you visit us, which was at least 5 times a week.

I remember how you once told me that I am not allowed to have a boyfriend, yet. That I am only allowed to have one when JM is already in college. JM was still 7 years old then. I didn't mind you saying that because I knew that it was your little way of making me feel extra special among all your grand children. (Dear cousins, this is self-proclaimed! hehe!)

A lot of things have changed. Time flies. My cousins are all grown up now. Let me give you a few updates about them (In order based on age). Ate Mygel is now happy in a relationship with her childhood sweetheart. I know you are definitely one of the happiest person in heaven because of this news. Kuya Marc is now back here in Philippines. We have finally compelled him to stay here for good. He is staying with me here in Manila and currently working at Petron. The biggest update I can tell you about me is that I am already engaged, since February 9. We are planning to get married next year, 9th day of Janaury (same as Sunshine's birthday). Aira is taking a big step in her career but I don't want to disclose the details yet. But I am very happy for her. Kia is currently working at BDO, it is one of the biggest banks here in the Philippines. You'll be proud on how hard working she is at work and at home. Zander is on his 5th year taking up Electrical Engineering. Mind you, he never had a failing grade since 1st year. And taking up an engineering course in a prestigious university without any failing grade since Day 1 is indeed something to be proud of. Sunshine will be graduating this June with possible flying colors. She's a candidate for cum laude. JD is turning 18 in a few days and at the same she will also be graduating and is planning to study in one of the best universities in the States. We haven't seen her for years but looking at the pictures that Aunt Marlene sent us, she is a very lovely lady. Bianca is still the same shy-girl with such a pretty face. She reminds me of Janelle Salvador, one of the most popular teenagers nowadays. And if you were still here I am sure that you will agree. Jai just finished high school and still choosing which university he likes best. I think he's also planning to take up an engineering course. You're Siapno boys are really into engineering! Kyle is the most artistic among all of us. He can turn a paper into a amazing work of art. And he also plays the piano/organ really well. He even volunteered to play the piano during my wedding. JM, one of you're favorite, next to me ofcourse, (Again cousins, this is self proclaimed, haha!), is pretty much just like me when I was kid. Independent, brave, sweet, thoughtful, and very organized. And she is a consistent top performer in her class, 2nd honor to be specific. Christine is also now in high school and just like Bianca, she is also shy. She is growing up to be a very responsible sister to her brothers. Renzo is going to be a high school student this coming school year. He loves playing all sorts of computer games but is also a promising basketball player. Your Siapno boys (including your sons, Romulo and Jaime) loves playing basketball. And finally, James, your youngest grand child, just recently graduated, too. He is very active in school and at home. He is very good in English and is excellent in Math!

I know you are overwhelmed as much as I am. They have all really grown up!

In a few months, I will be married. It makes me sad that you didn't get to meet my fiancé. He is an incredibly wonderful person. He knows a lot about you. He knows how much I adore you. And he knows how you much you spoiled me. (Oops!) I wish you were still around to see your first grand child get married. It would've been ultimately perfect if you were there!

It would be nice to see you in black tux. Plus I'm pretty sure you'll be wearing your favorite watch and shoes. Just like how you dressed up when you first met Kuya Marc's girlfriend, Ate Jen. You were very excited that day. Too bad you don't get to meet Zander's girlfriend, Camille. And all the other Siapno boys' future girl friends.

Sigh. There is still this constant ache in my heart whenever I would think of you. I still miss you and hope that I can be a wonderful grand mother to my grand babies as you were to me. I will make sure that my future children and grand children will know everything about you!

Thank you for loving me. I love you, Tatay.

Hugs and Kisses,
Myleen

Our Once Upon A Time.. :)

I have been in a relationship for more than 8 years now. It was not the typical type kasi we never really started with the basic "ligawan" stage.

Yes girls, ako ung naunang nagkagusto sa kanya.

This is something I am not ashamed to broadcast. Wala namang masama kung ang babae ang unang nagkagusto sa lalake.

There is this video they took back in highschool, nakasave sa cellphone ng common friend naming si Raniel. Nadaanan lang siya sa video and he smiled. Todo pause ako sa video makita ko lang talaga siya. Nabighani ako!(Naks!) Since then, parati ko ng kinukulit si Raniel na ipakilala siya sa akin. Problem is, sa Baguio siya nagaaral at currently committed to an almost 2-year relationship with a highschool sweetheart. But... They're oceans apart. (hahaha!) I never had 3rd party issues with my exes but I am against people who ruin other happy couple's relationships. I did not intend to do this to them but there's really something about this guy that I really really want to meet him. At dahil sa kakulitan ko ay napapapayag ko si Raniel to setup a basketball game this sembreak (last week of October 2006). Actually, si Raniel lang ang naging daan dahil siya ang nag set ng game. Pero ang totoong nagpakilala sa amin ay si Renz. Common friend din namin siya na nagkataong super close friend niya.

Finally, I met him.

His name is Waldo. I offered a hand shake. He did not respond. He did not even smile. Hanggang sa kinuha ni Renz ang kamay niya at napilitan nalang siya makipag shake hands. I was super kilig na after a few days ko lang narealize na sinungitan pala niya ako. Anyway, after that game ay nagkayayaan na kumain. I even asked him to come pero ayaw daw niya. Strike two for me! At first I thought crush lang siguro talaga kasi right after noon ay wala na. Syempre narealize ko nga ilang beses niya akong sinungitan at obviously hindi niya ako type. Although, I admire his faithfulness to his girlfriend, then.

After a few days, I celebrated my 19th birthday in a private resort owned by my guy bestfriend, Jigs. I was thinking of inviting him to my party so I took his number from Raniel. No hidden agenda guys. But I was too busy preparing that I forgot to invite him.

It was a Sunday night, 31st of December 2006, while I was busy helping my parents prepare our Media Noche, my phone rang.

I missed a call from an unknown number. When I was about to ask who it was, I received a text message. It was him. My crush from the video, Waldo.

Since then, madalas na kaming nagkakatext. We talked about everything. Pero we never had a chance to go out. Until I found out na merong week long Leadership Camp ang aming University, to be held at Baguio. I was currently the Treasurer of our Department so I signed up for it. It was almost the end of the leadership camp but he still haven't dropped by so it kind of made me think that he is not really interested to see me. On our last day, I woke up extra early. Not just because I was still hoping but also because I wanted to take more pictures with friends. It turns out that it pays to wake up early because he finally decided to come see me. He said he'll be seeing me by 7am. So I took a bath immediately, with ice-cold water! (I'm not exaggerating!) Looking back, I honestly don't remember how I looked and what I wore that day. But for sure, I was excited. We were staying at Teacher's Camp. He was a few minutes earlier than expected. We met at the entrance.

He was in his baggy denim faded blue pants, loose navy blue polo shirt, white adidas sneakers, his super appealing semi bald self, and THE brown eyes that makes me melt inside.

Technically, it was not our first time to see each other. I'm not sure if it can be considered as our first date, either. We were both having a great time. He even bought taho for him and I. I politely declined it since I am not really eating/drinking taho. He was surprised. I didn't want to make an impression that I am a picky eater, which I am not. Let's just say that there are a few foods that I do not enjoy eating. Anyway, he still insisted. And I again declined. He end up eating both. After a while, we decided to stroll around Teacher's Camp and had a morning walk. Unfortunately, we met a not-so-friendly dogs along the way. Yes, I was scared to get bitten so I was walking a little bit faster than usual. (Minus points for me again!) He knew I was scared so he gently held my hand. Kilig-to-the-bones! Sadly, I have to go back to our seminar. And he also have classes to attend to.

It was really a morning to remember! It was also a wake up call to reality. I knew from the start that he is already in a relationship with another girl. And hoping for a "forever" future of him and I will never happen.

After a few days, I tried to avoid him, not totally, but I wanted to be distant. I tried. But I failed. The more I try to avoid him, the more I go crazy in love with him. Yes, I fell in love. Just like what Blackstreet said, It came over me in a rush when I realized that I love him so much. I don't know if he feels the same way. I don't even want to know at all.

January 25, 2007 --- LOVE kills you, both when you have it and when you don't.

We were both ready to stop whatever we have. But after a few minutes, we realized how much we liked each other. He is still with her but he knows that he also wants me. It was good enough for me, at that moment, so I agreed to be the the 2nd girlfriend. It was a crazy and stupid decision. What's worse is that he asked me to keep our relationship as a secret first. He was planning to end his relationship with her but he wants her to hear it from him not from anybody else.

January 28 -- When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

He came home from Baguio so we can have our first real date as a couple. I didn't want him to fetch me so we decided to meet at the mall instead. I was surprised that he brought along his best friend, Renz. On our first real date. We had nothing planned, so we just watched a movie, Agent X44. After the movie, I went home. Nothing memorable. It was honestly a disappointing first date.

The following Sunday, he went home again to see me. We visited Manaoag church, and then I brought him to Bonuan, where we had our photoshoot a few days ago. The place was simple. We just stood there and enjoyed the beach. I think he was being sweet because he suddenly hugged me. I think it was his way of making up from last week's horrible date. But this time it was very memorable. It was where we had our first kiss. My first real kiss.

February 8 -- There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved.

He surprised me. He went home to watch and support me on my pageant. I never expected him to do that. I only won 4th place but I felt like I was the prettiest girl in the world.

February 14 -- The act of giving flowers elicits a real smile, more often than other gifts of similar cost.

It was my first Valentine's Day with my boyfriend. He got me a bouquet of purple flowers. I was never a fan of flowers, but that's when I started falling in love with them.

As days goes by, we fell more deeply in love with each other. He finally ended his relationship with her. He chose me over her.

We always celebrate the 25th day of every month. And we've been celebrating it for the past 8 years. Today marks our 99th month together. In 8 months, I will be marrying the greatest love of my life.

They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other ever day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other. - Nicholas Sparks