Dear Tatay,
Hi there. How have you been doing? I sure hope you're happy there. We miss you so much. As much as we want to be with you, we can't. Well, not yet. We wonder what keeps you busy nowadays? Do you still enjoy watching TV? Are you still able to watch your favorite noontime shows? Are you still updated with your showbiz crushes? (It's okay to admit that you're still crushing on them. Nanay won't mind.) Do you still get to eat more than 3 times a day?
Ever since you left, we can't help but reminisce all the times we had with you. Every memory, every picture, basically EVERYTHING that reminds me of you makes me miss you even more.
It's been more than 3 years since you passed away. When I think back, I wonder how I even went one year without you. Every time I think of you I feel like going to my room and crying forever and ever until I meet you again.
I think over the years that after someone has lost someone, it doesn’t get easier, you just get more used to it and deal with it.
Well, that’s what I’m doing and I know you will be proud of me. It’s really sad because when I was younger, I felt really ugly and you were one of the very few people that made me feel pretty. I am writing this down so in ten years I can read this and remember how much you meant to me. I never want to forget that, and I don’t think I could. And I realized that no matter how old you are the closeness you have with that one person never goes away.
I remember how you used to fetch me after school. And how you used to spoil me buying me a lot of candies before heading home. I rememeber how you used to tell me stories during the World War II. I remember that you even bought me a cute purple bicycle with a basket and a bell. I remember how you never forget to bring us snacks at home every single time you visit us, which was at least 5 times a week.
I remember how you once told me that I am not allowed to have a boyfriend, yet. That I am only allowed to have one when JM is already in college. JM was still 7 years old then. I didn't mind you saying that because I knew that it was your little way of making me feel extra special among all your grand children. (Dear cousins, this is self-proclaimed! hehe!)
A lot of things have changed. Time flies. My cousins are all grown up now. Let me give you a few updates about them (In order based on age). Ate Mygel is now happy in a relationship with her childhood sweetheart. I know you are definitely one of the happiest person in heaven because of this news. Kuya Marc is now back here in Philippines. We have finally compelled him to stay here for good. He is staying with me here in Manila and currently working at Petron. The biggest update I can tell you about me is that I am already engaged, since February 9. We are planning to get married next year, 9th day of Janaury (same as Sunshine's birthday). Aira is taking a big step in her career but I don't want to disclose the details yet. But I am very happy for her. Kia is currently working at BDO, it is one of the biggest banks here in the Philippines. You'll be proud on how hard working she is at work and at home. Zander is on his 5th year taking up Electrical Engineering. Mind you, he never had a failing grade since 1st year. And taking up an engineering course in a prestigious university without any failing grade since Day 1 is indeed something to be proud of. Sunshine will be graduating this June with possible flying colors. She's a candidate for cum laude. JD is turning 18 in a few days and at the same she will also be graduating and is planning to study in one of the best universities in the States. We haven't seen her for years but looking at the pictures that Aunt Marlene sent us, she is a very lovely lady. Bianca is still the same shy-girl with such a pretty face. She reminds me of Janelle Salvador, one of the most popular teenagers nowadays. And if you were still here I am sure that you will agree. Jai just finished high school and still choosing which university he likes best. I think he's also planning to take up an engineering course. You're Siapno boys are really into engineering! Kyle is the most artistic among all of us. He can turn a paper into a amazing work of art. And he also plays the piano/organ really well. He even volunteered to play the piano during my wedding. JM, one of you're favorite, next to me ofcourse, (Again cousins, this is self proclaimed, haha!), is pretty much just like me when I was kid. Independent, brave, sweet, thoughtful, and very organized. And she is a consistent top performer in her class, 2nd honor to be specific. Christine is also now in high school and just like Bianca, she is also shy. She is growing up to be a very responsible sister to her brothers. Renzo is going to be a high school student this coming school year. He loves playing all sorts of computer games but is also a promising basketball player. Your Siapno boys (including your sons, Romulo and Jaime) loves playing basketball. And finally, James, your youngest grand child, just recently graduated, too. He is very active in school and at home. He is very good in English and is excellent in Math!
I know you are overwhelmed as much as I am. They have all really grown up!
In a few months, I will be married. It makes me sad that you didn't get to meet my fiancé. He is an incredibly wonderful person. He knows a lot about you. He knows how much I adore you. And he knows how you much you spoiled me. (Oops!) I wish you were still around to see your first grand child get married. It would've been ultimately perfect if you were there!
It would be nice to see you in black tux. Plus I'm pretty sure you'll be wearing your favorite watch and shoes. Just like how you dressed up when you first met Kuya Marc's girlfriend, Ate Jen. You were very excited that day. Too bad you don't get to meet Zander's girlfriend, Camille. And all the other Siapno boys' future girl friends.
Sigh. There is still this constant ache in my heart whenever I would think of you. I still miss you and hope that I can be a wonderful grand mother to my grand babies as you were to me. I will make sure that my future children and grand children will know everything about you!
Thank you for loving me. I love you, Tatay.
Hugs and Kisses,
Myleen
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