Planning your wedding Guest List: Who makes the cut?!

One of the most sensitive subjects that you will tackle while planning your wedding is the guest list. While both the bride and groom may think that they will be able to invite everyone they want to, this is often not a possibility. The choice of who to invite to the your wedding needs to be a mutual agreement between you and your fiancé, and the truth is there are some people on your personal guest list that will not make the cut.

When you imagine your dream wedding, is it really filled with everyone on your Facebook page? People you choose to invite will fall under a number of categories, but not all of them will be obvious.

No-brainers
There are certain people both of you will agree on as no-brainers to attend the wedding, but there is still the question of whether they need an actual invitation. Immediate family members and the bridal party, for example, may have already been verbally invited but it is still good etiquette to send them an invitation.

Prune the family tree
Although you may be getting mutual pressure from your individual families to invite second cousins, great-great uncles and children of your guests, you and your fiancé have to come to a mutual agreement as to where the cut-off point for your family members will be. You should consider the costs, and if parents are funding the wedding you should seek feedback from them about what family members are essential guests. However, you must make it clear the ultimate decision is yours.

What about single friends?
It is certain that you both have friends who either haven’t married yet or are divorced. You may have met some of their significant others, while some you may not know at all. In this case, the right thing to do is not to make assumptions. However, you need to be certain that if you send these individuals +1 invitations that you are comfortable meeting the unfamiliar people they may bring. Although it should be their choice whether or not to go to a wedding stag, you are well within your rights to restrict +1 invitations to the bridal party and groomsmen.

No shows
There are always those who will not be able to make it to the wedding, and whether or not to send them invitations can be a tough call. If you decide to send an invite, make sure it is to those with whom you are close. They will appreciate the time that you took to send the invitation. Those you are not as close with may still feel obligated to send a gift and not be as happy to see your invite.

Old flames
This is the most common cause for friction when putting together the guest list. Unfortunately, there is no easy solution. For your part, just because you feel comfortable inviting an ex does not mean that your fiancé does. Have an honest conversation about both of your feelings on the matter before pressing the issue. Keep in mind that this is your day, looking toward the future, and it is not a time to be dwelling in the past.

Remember that you and your partner are the ones that make the rules — and there is an exception to every rule. Be prepared for some hurt feelings if you have to trim the list too severely, but this is a day for the two of you. Anyone else that shares in your joy is a bonus.