When a couple gets engaged, the first thing that happens is the stress. Planning a wedding is incredibly, incredibly stressful, and many might be tempted to just shorten it all and get the wedding over with so they can move on to being married.
Apparently most couples manage to resist this urge. Huffington Post just ran a survey showing that the average length of an engagement is 13 to 18 months. Despite this desire to rush to the altar, most couples, including us, do wait. And I believe it's a good thing.
A short engagement (six months or less) really only makes sense if you have already been with your spouse for a long time and the marriage is just a formality. But in our case, we chose to have a longer engagement so that we can save up and pay for our own wedding. Otherwise, especially for couples who have been together a year or less, a long engagement (more than one year)is very important. Here are five reasons to be engaged for more than one year:
• You have your whole life to be married
When you are first getting married, you want forever to start RIGHT NOW. There is no reason to rush into it.
• Weddings are stressful
It takes time to plan a wedding. If you are eloping or having a small wedding, by all means, have a short engagement. But some venues or churches book up a YEAR in advance. So if you have your heart set on it, it's best to wait.
• Engagements end
Sorry to burst your happiness bubble, but engagement is way easier to call off than a marriage. Give it time. Let it settle. Plan together.
• It's a fun time
You are only engaged for one VERY brief period of your whole life. People are happy and excited for you. It's a special time in anyone's life, so why rush into the marriage. Relax and enjoy it!
• You need to know each other
For some people, six months into a relationship, they get engaged. Six months later they get married and then six months later they are pregnant. Eighteen months together is NOT enough time to know you're compatible as partners and parents. It just isn't. I have heard that it takes three full rounds of each season (three years) to get to really know one another. That's a good rule of thumb. Good thing we're more than 8 years toegether now, yey!
DISCLAIMER: This are all just from my point of view. I am not saying that those who had a shorter engagement do not end up being happily married.
Marriage is a life-changing decision. And you must be sure that you are whole heartedly marrying the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with. 113th day of being engaged, and I'm enjoying every bit of it! :)
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